Parenthood, a call to be better than yourself

What makes a good parent? Why should we even want to be parents? Lastly what is the purpose of a parent. We started this week of by thinking to ourselves what the purpose of parenting really is. I personally think there are so many more reasons than just one as to what the parents purpose truly is. One, I think a parent has the responsibility to raise children to be better than they are and to surpass them so the world can become a better more wonderful place to be as we wait for our Savior to return again. How do we do this is the real question? Second I think the purpose of a parent is also to provide safety for a child so it can grow and learn in an environment they can survive and thrive in. This means mostly for the newborn who can't do anything on it's own, making sure that the newborn can survive to an age where they can do more to take care of themselves. As they grow we allow more freedom of choice as long as it is safe so they can become "agents unto themselves". Third I think a parent is there to make sure a child has tools necessary to make correct decisions. When there is no right or wrong we want to be able to train a child so they can decide what is good, better or best.

There are many more ways to parent than just one but in class this week we really stressed the importance of allowing a child to learn from their own decisions as long as there is no danger or as long as the consequences of a decision are to far in the future to be of benefit to the child. Punishment and reward are manipulative ways of parenting and will never yield the exact desired result. We used the example of Sunday school with young children. If you offer a candy for every right answer (reward) then they will only come up with answers to receive the candy. We can instead just let them have the natural consequence of feeling good from a good gospel centered discussion based on truth. It can get in the way of even feeling the spirit. To conclude I really just want to be the best parent I can and I am grateful for the doctrine of Christ and the simple family facts that ring true and can keep this world from falling downward into a place where families are not priority. They are the most important unit in eternity and mortality and this is why I study marriage and family.

We have another way of teaching a child if they cant learn from natural consequences. They can learn from logical consequences  that have a result close and similar to what would happen naturally. Doing things for no reason or without the child understanding is one of the biggest mistakes we can make as parents.

Another great thing we can do for our children is set a good example of problem solving between spouses. We should let them see that we are not perfect and do have disputes but that we can handle things without blowing things way out of proportion from what the situation really is. We should always council together so the children do not pit parent against parent. It is dire and crucial that we respect our children enough to give them enough "vitamin n" also known as the no word. They do not have to always get what it is they want and it is actually a really bad thing and habit the world today falls for.

Family, Finances, Fatherhood, following God's plan

 This week has been a wonderful week that has given me insight to why I want this line of work in family science. We are all blogging differently this week to get more personal and factual as well. I found an article on google simply by searching "fatherhood articles" and learned so much. I searched several articles and ended up choosing one from a website called Focus on the Family.com.  
here is the actual link for anyone who reads this; https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/parenting-roles/the-involved-father/fathers-matter

It lists out ways the father is unique and important for the development of the child.
The first thing this article teaches that stood out to me is that fathers both play and parent differently. The spirit testified of the worldly and divine truth behind this statement. This is why mothers and fathers are both so important and needed in this world. We men tend to be more aggressive and seek to teach in a tough loving way. The article says that men tickle more, they throw kids in the air, and have more aggressive fun with children where mothers would say "not so high!! or be careful!!"
Children learn the difference between fun aggression and over the top. The father disciplines differently usually more harshly.

Another point made is that a father gives confidence. The father is the one who encourages the child to push a little harder or push their limits to be the best they can, this is why I have read that those with fathers tend to have higher income and better careers. They learn to be competitive rather than to be super safe and secure, they can take more risks.

Fathers, sometimes without knowledge of this can prepare children better for the harshness of the real world where a mother would secure and protect from the world.

My favorite and the most important point to me is that a father is an example to his child of what a real man is and should be, his girls know how to find a good real man rather than just a sexual partner and boys learn how to treat women and work hard for family each and every day.

I grew up without a father but with my grandfather, grandmother and mom. My grandpa was an amazing man with his flaws no doubt but who made sure I wasn't weak when fighting the real world. He was tougher on me as a teen but as a child until then we were best buddies. I missed out on having a real father in my life because of the house my mom was raised in. When she grew up my grandpa was a drinker and not too good at all. My childhood was full of soberness and a clean grandpa who has repented. Because of the upbringing she had the man who co-created me was terrible and did not stay. It can effect entire generations and I truly believe it takes Jesus Christ and humility to overcome generational barriers. Constant repentance is key and I know that being in this field of study will help me to overcome these barriers with facts and knowledge. Knowledge is the power needed to become a good father along with an open heart and love, true deep love for my wife. That love I am lucky to develop each day.

I don't have an active example of what a man is in my life because of the missing man in my childhood, but I learned from father figures and plan to learn from research and the gospel what a real man is. I love this class and I love being able to be the man I never had. I know there will be mistakes and challenges beyond my control but I will always strive to be my very very best.